Tainted Love II - Katan
Hurt the ones you love or love the ones you hurt?
Katan loves his master with a passion. He is always at his side, obedient, loyal and protective. It’s really quite touching. For me the best thing about TK was Rociel. The second best was Rociel and Katan’s relationship.

As I see it, there were three stages to Katan and Rociel’s relationship. At first, Katan felt indebted to his saviour and came to worship him, the way the rest of heaven did in those days. Later on, he seemed to actually fall in love with Rociel. As Rociel degenerates, he has to become his minder, his protector, so to speak.

Throughout, Rociel abuses the cherubim’s selfless love again and again. One moment he is all over him, when he needs reassurance, when he becomes aware of his madness, or when he simply wants to be told he is beautiful. At other times, he is cold, distant and downright cruel. It must be tough for Katan, being aware that he comes second in his master’s affections to Alexiel, the sister he obsessively hates as much as he loves.

Not that I’m saying Katan’s love is in any way unrequited. Rociel adores his creation and takes much pleasure in possessing his heart. He is fascinated by Katan’s earnest good nature and purity. Even though it makes him feel filthy and monstrous in comparison, it still draws him. In a way, his affection for Katan is the most constant, most pure relationship Rociel has with anyone. But hey, this is Rociel were talking about, so I doubt Katan can find much comfort in that. I think YK left it for the reader to decide whether their relationship was sexual or not, but it takes a lot of denial to convince yourself it isn’t.
Rociel was seriously rattled when Katan died, and forced him to become one of his golems rather than lose him. It may not have been a very good move for Katan, but it’s the most definitive sign of love from Rociel he ever really gets. And I hope he savoured it because, true to form, Rociel swiftly falls for the demon lord, and Katan is left out in the cold once more.

And still he works behind the scenes to help Rociel. He must have been so emotionally battered by Rociel’s incredibly thoughtless behaviour after he hooks up with Lucifer. Yet he shows no sign of reproach toward his master. It’s not even charitable pity, no mercy-fucks. It _l_o_v_e_, ladies and gentlemen.

It would be easy to see Katan as a lovelorn, rather wet ‘nice-guy’ character. Let’s not forget he apparently resurrected Rociel of his own initiative. Sure, he’s kind of innocent and kind, but he killed all those humans necessary for his master’s ressurection. He is willing to take decisive action when he has to, as long as it’s all ultimately for Rociel. Its when Katan is at his most abused and under-appreciated that his character is strongest, because he manages to stubbornly hold onto his love for Rociel in the face of such adversity. Like Lucifer Katan is a fine figure of a man, masculine and deadpan. He looks pretty impressive in that military uniform, which I’m sure Rociel appreciates.

Oh, and to add an extra frisson of wrongness to it all, Katan refers to Rociel as his father. I don’t think he really thinks of their relationship that way. How good a father would Rociel actually make? He didn’t exactly have a very good role model. Not to mention the fact that Katan is physically, if not actually, older than Rociel. And what about their reunion in heaven when Katan was a young candidate? Rociel hit him with a riding crop @_@;;. Katan probably spent much of his childhood humouring Rociel’s whims and tantrums.

If Rociel is cruel and grossly inconsiderate, like Katan, I can forgive him. He is, after all losing his mind and it’s this combination of cruelty and beauty that holds such appeal.